The past few months have been a roller coaster. I'm definitely not myself. I haven't had an interest in the things I love. I'm moody, and snap at the drop of a hat. I'm fine one minute and want to cry the next. I get overwhelmed at the thought of having anything extra to do, especially at work.
I'm beginning to wonder if I'm suffering from mild depression. I've went through funks before, but the last few months have been worse than anytime I remember. And it is gradually getting worse. Just 3 weeks ago, I was better than I am now. I'm snapping at my family and friends and want to be left alone for the most part. I can't get enough sleep. I can go to bed at 8 or 9, and get up at my usual time of 6 and still want more. I flipped out last night about 8:30 because I wanted to go to sleep and my mom wanted me to help her with the puppies. I've been doing similar things all week. I flipped out yesterday because I had an extra charge for something show up on my bank statement. I've basically lost all interest in hanging out with people. I've lost interest in things that used to excite me, like dog shows. I think that is coming from the luck I've had the past couple years. I've only been to 4 shows all year. usually I average at least 25-30.
Ugh, enough of this crap.
The good vibes request is because I have a phone interview today. Getting out of this work environment would work wonders for me. Working some place where I don't have to worry about getting paid or my check bouncing. Working with people that actually have morals and ethical standards. The scary part, I'm not even that excited about this interview. I know that it would be a good move, but it is either coming from the vomit that I started this post with, or the fact that I've been looking since April 2010 for a new job with zero luck. I guess I've taught myself to expect bad news on the job front.
Ugh, this mind-set has got to go. I will sound like I want this job on the phone. Now I'm going to review the job description one more time and print off a copy of my resume for reference. I will be prepared for this, and I will do great at it. And I will get an in person interview, which I will kick ass at.
I'll update this afternoon :)