Scale Tales

Today's WI: 255.8
Change: +2.4

I wasn't too surprised. I had 4 meals out over the weekend combined with almost no activity. I'm not going to stress over it. I have a plan for food and activity this week, so I'll do my best to get the number back down.

Scale Tales

Last WI: 254.6
Today: 253.4
Loss: -1.2

I was completely surprised this morning. I didn't have a great week last week, but did get in some activity.  I had my binge on Monday, ate out a few times, and it is the dreaded time of the month (and I retain water like crazy).  I wasn't expecting a loss at all, so I'm very pleased.

This week shouldn't be too bad. I'm going out of town for work Wednesday night/Thursday, but I'm packing a DVD to take with me to do at the hotel that night. Not sure what the food Thursday will be, but I'll make the best choices I can. That should be my only hurdle this week.

Now to just keep doing what I've been doing!

Binging

I've been trying to come up with the words for this post for two days. It's hard for me. This subject has always been hard for me. There are just a couple of people that I've discussed this with in my real life.

I had been doing fairly well on the eating front, until Monday.

Binge eating is an eating disorder, just like bulemia and anorexia. I've spent a lot of time over the last year or so trying to really pay attention to my body.  I don't need a doctor to tell me that I'm a binger (yes, I do self-diagnose all of the time). But it's true, and I've been trying to work on it. I had been doing well.

What I did Monday was a binge.

I was just kind of out of it Monday. One of those things where you can't pinpoint what is wrong. Just a blah feeling. I had my normal breakfast and lunch. A little candy at work.  When I left work I was on like auto-pilot, almost numb feeling. I stopped at Wendy's and got a 10 pc chicken nugget meal. Ate it on my way home and found a trash can to throw the bag and drink cup into. I had to stop at the store to get a pound of hamburger and garlic bread for our dinner at home. No problem, until I bough a large, filled cupcake. Ate that on the way home, throwing away the evidence before anyone could see it.

I then ate dinner with my family like normal. Spaghetti and garlic bread.  All of this was eaten between the hours of 5 and 6:30. I ate 40 points at dinnertime. Total I had 62 on Monday. I get 39 per day.

It's extremely hard to explain how I feel when binges like this happen. It's almost numbing. It's like I don't really realize what is happening. No real emotion. I'm just in auto.

My binges are always when I'm alone. No one ever sees the evidence. Monday was the perfect example. I enhaled it while driving, then threw away the trash so no one would see it. 

I'm not sure why it happened on Monday. Usually I can look back and pretty much identify a trigger, but nothing pops out about Monday. I feel ashamed when I binge. I want to have more self control. Maybe I'm too critical of myself sometimes?  Who knows.

Hopefully it was an isolated incidence. Actually, I'm going to do my best to make sure it was isolated. I hate the way I feel afterwards, so I don't want to keep doing it.

Scale Tales

+0.8 this morning.

Not suprising since I ate out all weekend. But it was completely worth having 24 hours with my friends. Hopefully a chunk of it is water weight. I'll work hard this week to get it back off, and hopefully plus some more this week!

Weekend Recap

I had a blast last night with my girls. Some shopping, nice dinner and ended the night with a couple fruity drinks. Nothing major, but it was a lot of fun and much needed.

I am, however, way too old to stay up until 2 am. :)

Now, I need to crack into this school work. 4 chapters plus individual and group assignments due on the first night of class in a couple weeks. Now to crack down.

Me and my sister last night

Girls Night!

First, let me back up to my WI this week. -3

I have decided to quit meetings. I wasn't usually staying for them, and that is one expensive scale! I've learned I'm either motivated or I'm not. A meeting isn't going to change that.  So I'm back to WW Online. I used my Monday morning weight for this week, so that is why it is so large. But it will even out come Monday!

Tomorrow I'm having a girls night (aka anti-bachelorette party, as my sister named it) with my sister, best friend and her sister. I'm.so.freaking.excited.  I really need a night out with my best friends. WI may not be great on Monday, but I already know that it will be completely worth it!

Not much happening this week. It's been fairly quiet. Now, I'm just ready for the weekend!

Finding Myself

In an effort to really focus on me and find out who the real me is, some changes were made over the weekend.

Firstly, I deleted the ex fiance from my phone and facebook (as well as those I was friends with through him-none of which were ever people I'd be friends with otherwise). It may sound small, but for me it was huge. If your number isn't in my phone, I don't know it. I had been battling, and failing a lot, the urge to send him texts. Even though I texted him some (during the first couple weeks post break-up) I'm glad I did. My texts always went unanswered (well until I called him a coward because I truly feel that he wanted the breakup, so was picking fights so I would do it, and he wouldn't have to...very mature, I know), which I think I needed. I had battled with myself so long that I had made a horrible decision. But thanks to his lack of care (which I should have picked up on by his lack of emotion during our last conversation) I'm ready to move on. I know it was the right decision. I'm going to stop blaming myself and thinking about the "what if's". It ended knowing that I really tried to fight for our relationship but he "wanted to be alone for a while" <--his words, not mine. And I'm ok with that now. I deserve someone who wants to fight for me.

I've been doing well with getting in activity (thanks to Zumba!) and eating well.  Yesterday I made a batch of Emily Bites Banana Chocolate Chip Baked Oatmeal Singles to have for breakfast this week.  Very yummy!  Two of them kept me full until right at noon today (they were eaten about 8 this morning).

This weekend is my anti-bachelorette party (named by my sister). Basically will be like a bachelorette party with good laughs, great friends and drinks, but it'll be ok if I hit on guys :)  In all seriousness, I'm really excited for a night out with my best friends. It is much needed.

WI is tonight. I skipped last week, because my home scale had me up about 6 lbs....This morning my scale was much nicer, so hopefully their scale is too!