A Look Back

A lot happened in 2011.

I met and am now engaged to this guy

We took a mini vacation to the Smokies and caught a glimpse of this fuzzy guy

We took a camping trip, where it was about 40 degrees at the top of Whitetop, VA in August.  And I had a breakdown.

 

I bred my first Whippet litter, and the puppies are looking promising.

I had to make a very hard decision about Blake.

I had lots of happy times but a fair share amount of sad ones.

Overall, it was a good year.

Breakdown

I had a complete breakdown on the boy last night.  He now knows why I feel how I do about my weight.  Well at least how I explained it to the best of my abilities.  I've learned it is so hard to really explain things when the other person has never been there.  Like my parents. Sure they are supportive, but they don't really know what I've went through emotionally to get where I am in my WLJ, because they've never had to worry about their weights.  Neither has the boyfriend.  Up until last night he was always like, "you're beautiful, you don't need to change anything..." blah blah blah.  But I think he is starting to understand my side of things.  And he said he would always be supportive of me and love me no matter what. 

With all of these breakdowns in the last week, I feel free. It's hard to put into words, but I'm sure some of you can relate.  I know that this time I'm in the right place mentally and emotionally to get through this. 

The "aha" moment....

I definitely had one this weekend. I went camping with Clayton and a couple of his friends this weekend. Yesterday we went on a hike from where we had camp set up on Whitetop Mountain to a little overlook place, Buzzard Rock.

Buzzard Rock is the ledge on the right side of the picture. This was the view from where we were camping. Doesn't look too far, does it?

This is from Buzzard Rock looking back up to where were were camped...at the very top of the hill on the right hand side. 

Everything was fine and a lot of fun on the way down, because it was downhill the entire time. 

Now clue "aha moment". The way back up. I don't even remember how many times I had to stop to catch my breath or let my legs rest. I felt horrible for being the reason we had to stop so much. I don't want to be that person anymore. I want to be able to go on little hikes with Clayton and our friends and not think twice about it. I started crying about halfway back because I'm tired of being that person. 

I have been doing better lately on this journey. Yesterday was definitely what I needed to give me that extra push, I think.

The view was quite nice!

It was definitely worth the pain that I faced. I needed to face that to be able to know I need to stick with this. I know it won't happen overnight, but I know that if I stick with it, it will happen.

I've gotta do this for me, because I want a very long life with this guy

Upside, I was down 2.8 for WI this week :)