Finding Myself

In an effort to really focus on me and find out who the real me is, some changes were made over the weekend.

Firstly, I deleted the ex fiance from my phone and facebook (as well as those I was friends with through him-none of which were ever people I'd be friends with otherwise). It may sound small, but for me it was huge. If your number isn't in my phone, I don't know it. I had been battling, and failing a lot, the urge to send him texts. Even though I texted him some (during the first couple weeks post break-up) I'm glad I did. My texts always went unanswered (well until I called him a coward because I truly feel that he wanted the breakup, so was picking fights so I would do it, and he wouldn't have to...very mature, I know), which I think I needed. I had battled with myself so long that I had made a horrible decision. But thanks to his lack of care (which I should have picked up on by his lack of emotion during our last conversation) I'm ready to move on. I know it was the right decision. I'm going to stop blaming myself and thinking about the "what if's". It ended knowing that I really tried to fight for our relationship but he "wanted to be alone for a while" <--his words, not mine. And I'm ok with that now. I deserve someone who wants to fight for me.

I've been doing well with getting in activity (thanks to Zumba!) and eating well.  Yesterday I made a batch of Emily Bites Banana Chocolate Chip Baked Oatmeal Singles to have for breakfast this week.  Very yummy!  Two of them kept me full until right at noon today (they were eaten about 8 this morning).

This weekend is my anti-bachelorette party (named by my sister). Basically will be like a bachelorette party with good laughs, great friends and drinks, but it'll be ok if I hit on guys :)  In all seriousness, I'm really excited for a night out with my best friends. It is much needed.

WI is tonight. I skipped last week, because my home scale had me up about 6 lbs....This morning my scale was much nicer, so hopefully their scale is too!

1 comment:

  1. I just wanted to reach out and say "I feel ya!" I've been down this road before (Ex-Fiance situation) and I'm here to tell you that you will come out on the other side of this BETTER, STRONGER, and HAPPIER. My blog started out chronicaling my life post-fiance and has evolved well past him, but maybe it'll help you?