Brides Against Breast Cancer

For a few weeks now, I had been trying to figure out exactly what I was going to do with my wedding dress and flowers that had been purchased well before calling off the wedding. I had remembered hearing someone talking about donating it, so a simple google search brought me to Brides Against Breast Cancer.

They sell the donated dresses they receive at very discounted prices for cancer survivors/current cancer patients. I knew that would be the perfect cause to help.  So I sent them an email asking if they could use the silk flowers (bridal bouquet, toss-away, 3 bridesmaids bouquets, grooms bout, 4 groomsmen bouts, and 4 coursages).  And they can! They said that anything wedding related they can sell at their events.

So I am going to donate both my dress and flowers. I feel so great about the decision. Breast cancer is something that is close to my heart. Almost all of the women on my mom's side, including my 21 year on sister have had cancer or pre-cancerous tumors removed from their breasts. I remember the fear we all had when my sisters was removed (which came back pre-cancerous).  I can't think of a better way to give other brides something they can truly be able to enjoy.  If anything like me, I know the lucky woman that chooses the dress and/or flowers will love them!

September Goals

I didn't make any formal goals for August. But I'm back for September.  August wasn't a great month. It was ok, but nothing great. I want to make September great!

1. 15 Workouts.  I'm at 2 after my dog show over the weekend.
2. Track everything. I took the last two weeks of August off from tracking. Mentally, I just needed the break. But I'm going to start tracking again.
3. Lose 5 lbs. I'm at -1.4 after today (starting with my WI from August 27th). I want to get out of the 250's this month, once and for all.

I'll check in with my goals weekly with my WI post on Mondays!

Scale Tales

254.4
-1.4!

I was so excited! Usually I gain after a dog show weekend, but I didn't this time. I had a good week eating wise and got in some activity. I was mindful of portions. We went out for breakfast yesterday and I chose a veggie omlet, side of fruit and wheat bread, while the two people I was with got pancakes, sausage and eggs. I was proud of myself, because who doesn't love waffles or pancakes!

I'm ready to get this week and month started!

I'll be back later with a couple of September goals.

Scale Tales

Today's WI: 255.8
Change: +2.4

I wasn't too surprised. I had 4 meals out over the weekend combined with almost no activity. I'm not going to stress over it. I have a plan for food and activity this week, so I'll do my best to get the number back down.

Scale Tales

Last WI: 254.6
Today: 253.4
Loss: -1.2

I was completely surprised this morning. I didn't have a great week last week, but did get in some activity.  I had my binge on Monday, ate out a few times, and it is the dreaded time of the month (and I retain water like crazy).  I wasn't expecting a loss at all, so I'm very pleased.

This week shouldn't be too bad. I'm going out of town for work Wednesday night/Thursday, but I'm packing a DVD to take with me to do at the hotel that night. Not sure what the food Thursday will be, but I'll make the best choices I can. That should be my only hurdle this week.

Now to just keep doing what I've been doing!

Binging

I've been trying to come up with the words for this post for two days. It's hard for me. This subject has always been hard for me. There are just a couple of people that I've discussed this with in my real life.

I had been doing fairly well on the eating front, until Monday.

Binge eating is an eating disorder, just like bulemia and anorexia. I've spent a lot of time over the last year or so trying to really pay attention to my body.  I don't need a doctor to tell me that I'm a binger (yes, I do self-diagnose all of the time). But it's true, and I've been trying to work on it. I had been doing well.

What I did Monday was a binge.

I was just kind of out of it Monday. One of those things where you can't pinpoint what is wrong. Just a blah feeling. I had my normal breakfast and lunch. A little candy at work.  When I left work I was on like auto-pilot, almost numb feeling. I stopped at Wendy's and got a 10 pc chicken nugget meal. Ate it on my way home and found a trash can to throw the bag and drink cup into. I had to stop at the store to get a pound of hamburger and garlic bread for our dinner at home. No problem, until I bough a large, filled cupcake. Ate that on the way home, throwing away the evidence before anyone could see it.

I then ate dinner with my family like normal. Spaghetti and garlic bread.  All of this was eaten between the hours of 5 and 6:30. I ate 40 points at dinnertime. Total I had 62 on Monday. I get 39 per day.

It's extremely hard to explain how I feel when binges like this happen. It's almost numbing. It's like I don't really realize what is happening. No real emotion. I'm just in auto.

My binges are always when I'm alone. No one ever sees the evidence. Monday was the perfect example. I enhaled it while driving, then threw away the trash so no one would see it. 

I'm not sure why it happened on Monday. Usually I can look back and pretty much identify a trigger, but nothing pops out about Monday. I feel ashamed when I binge. I want to have more self control. Maybe I'm too critical of myself sometimes?  Who knows.

Hopefully it was an isolated incidence. Actually, I'm going to do my best to make sure it was isolated. I hate the way I feel afterwards, so I don't want to keep doing it.

Scale Tales

+0.8 this morning.

Not suprising since I ate out all weekend. But it was completely worth having 24 hours with my friends. Hopefully a chunk of it is water weight. I'll work hard this week to get it back off, and hopefully plus some more this week!