Tis the time for my weekly weigh check-in.
+0.4 (257)
I'm fine with it, considering how much crap I had this weekend and the fact it is that glorious time of month (can you feel the sarcasm...). In all honesty, I was expecting a gain of more than a pound. Next week will be a loss.
12.12.2011
12.08.2011
A Time For Sorrow
Anyone that knows me, knows that I was really effected emotionally by the VT shooting in 2007.
It happened again today, and I've been a wreck.
Around noon, I got a VT alert saying there were reports of gunshots in the coliseum parking lot. Fast forward a little bit, and we find out that right around noon a person was pulled over (routine traffic stop) and the officer was shot and died. The person ran towards the cage parking lot (near the duck pond). Then there were reports of another victim, and sadly it was true.
No new news since about 1:30. The shooter is still lose. Parts of the interstate has been blocked off.
It hurts me so much to know this happened again.
This was posted on Facebook, and I stole it. Explains it perfectly.
"From the outside looking in, you can never understand it. From the inside looking out, you can never explain it. Virginia tech is more than a school.. It's my home and family. Our campus does not deserve this heartbreak. neVer forgeT & pray for Virginia Tech. We will always prevail. ♥ Stay safe, Hokies."
It happened again today, and I've been a wreck.
Around noon, I got a VT alert saying there were reports of gunshots in the coliseum parking lot. Fast forward a little bit, and we find out that right around noon a person was pulled over (routine traffic stop) and the officer was shot and died. The person ran towards the cage parking lot (near the duck pond). Then there were reports of another victim, and sadly it was true.
No new news since about 1:30. The shooter is still lose. Parts of the interstate has been blocked off.
It hurts me so much to know this happened again.
This was posted on Facebook, and I stole it. Explains it perfectly.
"From the outside looking in, you can never understand it. From the inside looking out, you can never explain it. Virginia tech is more than a school.. It's my home and family. Our campus does not deserve this heartbreak. neVer forgeT & pray for Virginia Tech. We will always prevail. ♥ Stay safe, Hokies."
12.07.2011
Accountability
I've been doing some really hard thinking today (scary, I know). I need new accountability. I'm attempting this weight loss thing on my own at the moment. On Mondays, I'm going to start posting my weights, not just loses, but my actual weight. I'm actually going to start now by posting Mondays WI...
256.6
The highest I've been on a WI day was last weeks 258.2. I don't want to see 260. Hell, I don't want to see anything above were I'm at this week, ever again. I need to get a handle on this. I have my gyn appt in early Feb, and I really don't want him saying anything about my weight this year, like he did last year (I was 248 at that appointment last year). I'd like to be back down to at least that when I go, so he doesn't see that I gained over the last year.
I'm unhappy with where I've been in the journey the last few months. I must start working out again. I need to start planning activity and at least breakfast/lunches on the weekends for the following week. Planning helps me (especially when it comes to lunches). I'm still not rejoining WW yet, maybe in a few months if I feel like I need it. But after being on WW for a year, I know what I need to do. I still don't want to have to count points and all that. I just want to be able to put forth the effort that I need to, to get it done.
Earlier this week, I caught myself thinking "New Years is in a few weeks, I'll just start over then." Luckily I caught myself. Because if I kept going, I would have been 260-something by then, and that would have been worse. Yes it's only a few lbs, but it's all about perception...260 is a decade more than 250.
I will have a loss this week, and the weeks after. I will NOT gain through Christmas. I will enjoy the time with my family and friends, but I will stay active and be mindful. By New Years (I'll WI on Jan 2nd) I will be at 250, or damn close to it. I WILL.
I'm going to quite letting stress get the best of me, and I will start paying attention to real hunger signals. I will stop binging. I will (and am as I type this) throw out the candy in my desk drawer, and it won't be replaced.
I'm sick of making excuses for myself. They are just holding me back. And it really has taken awhile to come to this point.
I will tackle this, and I will start today.
256.6
The highest I've been on a WI day was last weeks 258.2. I don't want to see 260. Hell, I don't want to see anything above were I'm at this week, ever again. I need to get a handle on this. I have my gyn appt in early Feb, and I really don't want him saying anything about my weight this year, like he did last year (I was 248 at that appointment last year). I'd like to be back down to at least that when I go, so he doesn't see that I gained over the last year.
I'm unhappy with where I've been in the journey the last few months. I must start working out again. I need to start planning activity and at least breakfast/lunches on the weekends for the following week. Planning helps me (especially when it comes to lunches). I'm still not rejoining WW yet, maybe in a few months if I feel like I need it. But after being on WW for a year, I know what I need to do. I still don't want to have to count points and all that. I just want to be able to put forth the effort that I need to, to get it done.
Earlier this week, I caught myself thinking "New Years is in a few weeks, I'll just start over then." Luckily I caught myself. Because if I kept going, I would have been 260-something by then, and that would have been worse. Yes it's only a few lbs, but it's all about perception...260 is a decade more than 250.
I will have a loss this week, and the weeks after. I will NOT gain through Christmas. I will enjoy the time with my family and friends, but I will stay active and be mindful. By New Years (I'll WI on Jan 2nd) I will be at 250, or damn close to it. I WILL.
I'm going to quite letting stress get the best of me, and I will start paying attention to real hunger signals. I will stop binging. I will (and am as I type this) throw out the candy in my desk drawer, and it won't be replaced.
I'm sick of making excuses for myself. They are just holding me back. And it really has taken awhile to come to this point.
I will tackle this, and I will start today.
12.06.2011
Woo! for the second day!
So the weekend after Thanksgiving I bought real clothes from victorias secret. Not just the regular undies and bras. It's a cardi sweater, and I got it to just *see* if I could wear it (helped that it was on sale)!
I put it on this morning and it fit!! Yes it is a lose cardi sweater, but my arms had to fit into it, and they did. Yes it is a xl, but it still fit. I've always been afraid to try VS clothes, and still am to a point, but it fit!
I'm super excited! Now I want to be able to fit into all of their cute clothes. Total motivation right there!
I put it on this morning and it fit!! Yes it is a lose cardi sweater, but my arms had to fit into it, and they did. Yes it is a xl, but it still fit. I've always been afraid to try VS clothes, and still am to a point, but it fit!
I'm super excited! Now I want to be able to fit into all of their cute clothes. Total motivation right there!
12.05.2011
Anyone Hiring?
I'm getting desperate again.
I've yet to get a paycheck (payday was last Friday). There is about 40 minutes until the mail runs. It better be there. Or I'm going home. I don't work for free when I have bills to pay. I'm tired of stressing over stupid crap. I shouldn't have to worry if I will get a paycheck on payday. Or if it will bounce. If it isn't here today, I'm going home and staying there until they give me cash.
I had to borrow money from my mom to pay my car payment. I hate borrowing money from my parents. Especially for this reason.
If I don't have it today, I'm calling the labor board. Shits ridiculous.
I'm stressed and I can't take it anymore.
I've yet to get a paycheck (payday was last Friday). There is about 40 minutes until the mail runs. It better be there. Or I'm going home. I don't work for free when I have bills to pay. I'm tired of stressing over stupid crap. I shouldn't have to worry if I will get a paycheck on payday. Or if it will bounce. If it isn't here today, I'm going home and staying there until they give me cash.
I had to borrow money from my mom to pay my car payment. I hate borrowing money from my parents. Especially for this reason.
If I don't have it today, I'm calling the labor board. Shits ridiculous.
I'm stressed and I can't take it anymore.
12.02.2011
Stress
I've decided that my job is going to kill me one day. From stress. My blood pressure is going to go sky high one day, and I'm going to kill over.
I seriously should not have to worry about if I'm going to get my check on payday or not; or if it is going to bounce. I'm tired of this.
I didn't get my check today. I have 2 bills totalling $400 due next week. My bank won't try to cash it until next Friday, since it won't go in until Monday now. It will take a whole hell of a lot for me not to quit if it bounces on top of not getting it when I'm supposed to. He's pushing me towards a complaint with the labor board. It is a law we are supposed to get checks on payday, not after, but on the scheduled payday. This isn't the first time it's happened. So much for my stress free weekend.
I need a new job.
I seriously should not have to worry about if I'm going to get my check on payday or not; or if it is going to bounce. I'm tired of this.
I didn't get my check today. I have 2 bills totalling $400 due next week. My bank won't try to cash it until next Friday, since it won't go in until Monday now. It will take a whole hell of a lot for me not to quit if it bounces on top of not getting it when I'm supposed to. He's pushing me towards a complaint with the labor board. It is a law we are supposed to get checks on payday, not after, but on the scheduled payday. This isn't the first time it's happened. So much for my stress free weekend.
I need a new job.
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