Santa was good to me!

Some VT stuff--I also got a VT blanket that isn't pictured--and a book!



Waffle Maker!



Some lotion, and other smelly good stuff



Cake Boss cook book!



Quesadilla Maker!  I used it today, works wonderfully!



Cuppy Cake Maker! 



Set of dishes!




Thanks to mom and dad, I can cross some things off of our wedding registry! 

Scale Tales Monday

+2.5 (260.2)

I've never seen a number that high on the scale. Ever. I wanted to cry. I didn't think I was too bad over the holiday weekend. Better than I usually am, which I'm going to consider a victory.

Instead of dwelling over this huge gain, I'm going to move on.

Merry Christmas!

From my home to yours
Merry Christmas!

I hope you have have a wonderful day!

Ah, Christmas

Best part about Christmas is definitely the family time!  Thoroughly enjoying that tonight!

Earlier today, I delivered Clayton's parents and son's presents.  I let Trevor open his, since I wouldn't see him until sometime after Christmas.  I got him a chair that sounds like a racecar when you rock in it.  My parents got him some Thomas the Train things and 3 Dr. Suess movies.  He was so excited. 

I got his mom and stepdad, and dad and stepmom a variety of baked goods, including those Peanut Butter Cups and some pound cake.  Also, some candles.  His dad and stepmom will get their's tomorrow, but his mom and stepdad loved theirs. 

I'm really excited about more family time this weekend!  Merry Christmas fellow bloggers!

Peanut butter cups

I made these lovelies last night.  Super easy to do!

All you need is some chocolate--I used Hershey's milk chocolate chips-- and some peanut butter.

Melt the chocolate (I just did it in the microwave).

I used regular cupcake size liners. 

Add a tablespoon of chocolate, pop them in the freezer to harden (took maybe 5 minutes)
Add a teaspoon of peanut butter
Add another tablespoon of chocolate, pop them back in the freezer.

They are super yummy, I had to try one before I gave them away today.  They are rich.  Next time I'm going with mini cupcake liners and probably a teaspoon of chocolate for each layer and a half teaspoon of peanut butter.  They got good reviews from my dad!




Sorry for the crappy pictures, I'm obviously not a photographer :)

Mentally Checked Out

I've yet to get hardly anything done at work today. I have gotten some things done, but not many.  I'm mentally checked out. I want my 10 day vacation. I want to spend time with my family. I want anything but to be sitting at this desk right now. 

I want to start wedding planning. I want to look at venues and for photographers. I want to plan the details--I already know what my father/daughter dance song will be and my wonderful sister has already accepted the maid of honor title--I'll still find a better way to ask her again, than a text 24 hours after I have a ring on my finger.  I want to look at wedding bands. 

Most of all, I want to be able to see my future husband on a daily basis.

Hard Decision

Ugh, last night I had to make a decision about Blake. His breeder had him at a show over the weekend, and he was ok until Sunday, and was apparently like a different dog. 

I decided that with a marriage and a step-son in my future, I can't consiously risk Blake being freaked out and hurting someone.  So about 30 minutes ago I mailed all of his papers to his breeder with me signing off as owner.  I wrote a little note and put it in there and was in tears.  It was hard to do.  I love the Blakester, but I know that it wouldn't be fair to him to have to be crated when the kid is at our house.  He is wonderful with his people and I hope that she can get him out of whatever it is that is wrong with him, at least so he can be trusted.

I'll miss you Blakester, but I'm sure I'll see you some!

Scale Tales-A Day Late

I totally forgot to post this yesterday. 

+.7 (257.7)

Totally expected (actually expected more) after the fun weekend of celebrating being engaged.  Two meals out in two days plus cake Sunday night.  It is probably mostly water weight, so I'm going to be good over the holiday and hopefully have a loss on Monday!

The Story

About 7 months ago I made a prediction here that Clayton was the one. It's something I had never felt more sure of.  As it turns out, for once, my instincts were correct!

Here's the story of Saturday
I got to his house around 12:30. He hadn't been up long, so I sat around while he got ready.  We went to a BBQ place for a late lunch.  He then told me he wanted to drive around, so off we headed.  We got on the parkway just outside of Galax (there is an overlook there that we love), drove about a mile, and there were detour signs. So we had to turn off, and he turned onto another road to get there, but that section of the parkway was closed (this part has meaning, I promise).

He kept saying he was in an 'overlook mood', so we went from NC to another overlook on the Grayson/Wythe border, Comer's Rock.  By this time, it was almost dark, but we made it to the overlook just as the sun went down over the mountain.  It was gorgeous.  The worst part about this overlook, is that it is a steep climb, via stairs, to the top.  It was freezing cold and the trees at the top were completely iced over!  I also tried to get pictures, but my camera was dead :(.  But I was just standing there looking at the view, and he grabbed my hand from behind and slipped the ring on my finger, gave a little speech, and I said yes through the lump in my throat.

His original plan was to do it at the overlook off of the parkway, which is mentioned in the blog linked above.  That is where he first told me he was falling in love with me. 

The night ended with us getting lost and ending up in Smyth county, the driving around looking at Christmas lights. 

It was the perfect day.

I said yes!!

More details later, but enjoy a picture!

The promised update

I hate when I can't get a feel on the person interviewing me. On my end, I think it went well, but I couldn't get any kind of reaction from her. So we will see if I get a call back for an in person interview.

After the interview, I decided I needed my nails done. It's amazing how much just an hour of me time changed my mood. I'm going to have to start making this a regular thing in my life. 

Now I'm going to relax with the family and play with my puppies.

I'm also super excited about boyfriend time this weekend. I haven't seen him for two whole weeks!

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Good Vibes Needed

The past few months have been a roller coaster. I'm definitely not myself.  I haven't had an interest in the things I love.  I'm moody, and snap at the drop of a hat. I'm fine one minute and want to cry the next. I get overwhelmed at the thought of having anything extra to do, especially at work.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm suffering from mild depression.  I've went through funks before, but the last few months have been worse than anytime I remember.  And it is gradually getting worse.  Just 3 weeks ago, I was better than I am now.  I'm snapping at my family and friends and want to be left alone for the most part.  I can't get enough sleep. I can go to bed at 8 or 9, and get up at my usual time of 6 and still want more. I flipped out last night about 8:30 because I wanted to go to sleep and my mom wanted me to help her with the puppies. I've been doing similar things all week. I flipped out yesterday because I had an extra charge for something show up on my bank statement.  I've basically lost all interest in hanging out with people.  I've lost interest in things that used to excite me, like dog shows. I think that is coming from the luck I've had the past couple years. I've only been to 4 shows all year. usually I average at least 25-30.

Ugh, enough of this crap.

The good vibes request is because I have a phone interview today. Getting out of this work environment would work wonders for me. Working some place where I don't have to worry about getting paid or my check bouncing. Working with people that actually have morals and ethical standards.  The scary part, I'm not even that excited about this interview. I know that it would be a good move, but it is either coming from the vomit that I started this post with, or the fact that I've been looking since April 2010 for a new job with zero luck. I guess I've taught myself to expect bad news on the job front. 

Ugh, this mind-set has got to go. I will sound like I want this job on the phone. Now I'm going to review the job description one more time and print off a copy of my resume for reference. I will be prepared for this, and I will do great at it.  And I will get an in person interview, which I will kick ass at.

I'll update this afternoon :)

How is it only Thursday?

This week is seriously dragging by, or at least it feels that way to me.  I've also been in a funk this week, and can't seem to get out of it. 

I haven't seen Clayton in 2 weeks, so I'm thinking that has a lot to do with it. But we have a date night scheduled for Saturday :)  We are going to drive around and look and Christmas lights.  Hopefully there are more people decorated where he lives than here, because this town looks pathetic with its lack of decorations.  Were is everyones Christmas spirit?

I have a to-do list as long as I am tall between work and home. I'm overwhelmed, especially with work at the moment.  The bosses don't give much to my co-worker to do, it's mainly all on me. And it's getting to me.  My 10 day vacation starting Christmas Eve can't come soon enough.  Actually, next week at work will be much welcomed. I'll be the only person in the office Wed-Fri, so it will be a great catch-up time!

How NOT to make fudge

I attempted fudge last night, for the first time ever. Let's just say the first round didn't go well. I cooked it to long, and it came out in crumbles.  And these were for my co-workers, so I couldn't give them out.  But dad still at some of the crumbles, and it still tasted fine, it just wasn't pretty to look at. :)

 

I can say that batch number two turned out much better, thankfully, because I ran out of peanut butter! Not a good thing to run out of.  It did turn out a little soft, so I could have cooked it probably 5-10 seconds longer.  Still was fine enough to give away to people.

Grumpy Kinda Day

I don't know what's wrong with me today, but I'm grumpy, and I want to go home.  I have a nosey-ass co-worker that needs to keep her religious and political views to herself. I can see this afternoon being a very long one.

And co-worker, FYI, yes you have your right to your own views, but I also have my right to not want to hear about them.  And if you don't like the commercialization of Chrismas, stop buying gifts and contributing to it.  Stop fucking complaining about it all. 

/end vent

Scale Tales Monday

Tis the time for my weekly weigh check-in.

+0.4 (257)

I'm fine with it, considering how much crap I had this weekend and the fact it is that glorious time of month (can you feel the sarcasm...). In all honesty, I was expecting a gain of more than a pound.  Next week will be a loss.

A Time For Sorrow

Anyone that knows me, knows that I was really effected emotionally by the VT shooting in 2007. 

It happened again today, and I've been a wreck.

Around noon, I got a VT alert saying there were reports of gunshots in the coliseum parking lot.  Fast forward a little bit, and we find out that right around noon a person was pulled over (routine traffic stop) and the officer was shot and died.  The person ran towards the cage parking lot (near the duck pond).  Then there were reports of another victim, and sadly it was true.

No new news since about 1:30.  The shooter is still lose.  Parts of the interstate has been blocked off.

It hurts me so much to know this happened again. 

This was posted on Facebook, and I stole it.  Explains it perfectly.

"From the outside looking in, you can never understand it. From the inside looking out, you can never explain it. Virginia tech is more than a school.. It's my home and family. Our campus does not deserve this heartbreak. neVer forgeT & pray for Virginia Tech. We will always prevail. ♥ Stay safe, Hokies."

Accountability

I've been doing some really hard thinking today (scary, I know).  I need new accountability.  I'm attempting this weight loss thing on my own at the moment.  On Mondays, I'm going to start posting my weights, not just loses, but my actual weight.  I'm actually going to start now by posting Mondays WI...

256.6

The highest I've been on a WI day was last weeks 258.2. I don't want to see 260. Hell, I don't want to see anything above were I'm at this week, ever again.  I need to get a handle on this. I have my gyn appt in early Feb, and I really don't want him saying anything about my weight this year, like he did last year (I was 248 at that appointment last year). I'd like to be back down to at least that when I go, so he doesn't see that I gained over the last year.

I'm unhappy with where I've been in the journey the last few months.  I must start working out again. I need to start planning activity and at least breakfast/lunches on the weekends for the following week.  Planning helps me (especially when it comes to lunches).  I'm still not rejoining WW yet, maybe in a few months if I feel like I need it. But after being on WW for a year, I know what I need to do. I still don't want to have to count points and all that.  I just want to be able to put forth the effort that I need to, to get it done.

Earlier this week, I caught myself thinking "New Years is in a few weeks, I'll just start over then."  Luckily I caught myself. Because if I kept going, I would have been 260-something by then, and that would have been worse.  Yes it's only a few lbs, but it's all about perception...260 is a decade more than 250.

I will have a loss this week, and the weeks after.  I will NOT gain through Christmas. I will enjoy the time with my family and friends, but I will stay active and be mindful. By New Years (I'll WI on Jan 2nd) I will be at 250, or damn close to it.  I WILL. 

I'm going to quite letting stress get the best of me, and I will start paying attention to real hunger signals. I will stop binging. I will (and am as I type this) throw out the candy in my desk drawer, and it won't be replaced.

I'm sick of making excuses for myself. They are just holding me back. And it really has taken awhile to come to this point.

I will tackle this, and I will start today.

Woo! for the second day!

So the weekend after Thanksgiving I bought real clothes from victorias secret.  Not just the regular undies and bras.  It's a cardi sweater, and I got it to just *see* if I could wear it (helped that it was on sale)! 

I put it on this morning and it fit!!  Yes it is a lose cardi sweater, but my arms had to fit into it, and they did.  Yes it is a xl, but it still fit.  I've always been afraid to try VS clothes, and still am to a point, but it fit!

I'm super excited!  Now I want to be able to fit into all of their cute clothes.  Total motivation right there!

Anyone Hiring?

I'm getting desperate again.

I've yet to get a paycheck (payday was last Friday). There is about 40 minutes until the mail runs. It better be there. Or I'm going home. I don't work for free when I have bills to pay.  I'm tired of stressing over stupid crap.  I shouldn't have to worry if I will get a paycheck on payday. Or if it will bounce. If it isn't here today, I'm going home and staying there until they give me cash.

I had to borrow money from my mom to pay my car payment.  I hate borrowing money from my parents. Especially for this reason.

If I don't have it today, I'm calling the labor board. Shits ridiculous.

I'm stressed and I can't take it anymore.

Woo!

-1.6!

Now I must get a few things done at work, but I'll update more later.

Stress

I've decided that my job is going to kill me one day. From stress. My blood pressure is going to go sky high one day, and I'm going to kill over.

I seriously should not have to worry about if I'm going to get my check on payday or not; or if it is going to bounce.  I'm tired of this. 

I didn't get my check today. I have 2 bills totalling $400 due next week.  My bank won't try to cash it until next Friday, since it won't go in until Monday now.  It will take a whole hell of a lot for me not to quit if it bounces on top of not getting it when I'm supposed to.  He's pushing me towards a complaint with the labor board.  It is a law we are supposed to get checks on payday, not after, but on the scheduled payday.  This isn't the first time it's happened. So much for my stress free weekend. 

I need a new job.